“Bring back the crush,” she says. “Get off the apps. And get to the pub.”
A new show about modern dating, fittingly titled Oops, is coming to the Edinburgh stages this Fringe Festival season. Professional matchmaker Olivia Raine Atwood hosts a live comedy show in which she spills on romance, dating app dos and don’ts, how to recognise a green flag from a red flag, and how to avoid the dreaded “ick”.
Do you find yourself wondering if there are any good ones left in the dating scene? After years in the love business, Atwood has seen it all — and she thinks the one isn’t on the apps. Atwood tells Quine where her clients are finding success in this exclusive interview.
The crush is a lost art. You’re an advocate for getting off the apps and into real-life interactions. Why?
“My entire mission is to bring back the crush! It’s been lost to the sands of time. Where are the moments of running into the same guy at the water cooler at work and gradually thinking he’s cute, or flirting with the girl in your building’s lift? Look up from your phone, put the apps away, and see who you’re running into regularly. Find those repeated exposures to the same person and let a lil’ something-something simmer.”
Approaching someone in public is a nerve-racking thing. What advice do you have to remain cool, calm, and collected — and most importantly, without coming across as creepy?
“Great question. The best thing to do is to approach as you would a friend, with an innocuous compliment. ‘Hey! So sorry to bother, I love those shorts and I was thinking about getting them as a gift for my brother — where are they from?’ Let them respond, and then you can ask a follow-up. Read the room, though. Suss out the vibes from your first question: are they down to chat, or not?”
If you were to diagnose the digital dating generation with one fatal illness, what would it be?
“Too many fish in the sea. It seems like there is always something better, something closer to every single thing on your checklist, just one swipe away. Instead of going out with people, giving them chances, and being open, we just keep swiping for something better with millions of people at our fingertips. Try to actually explore a few options, rather than swipe, swipe, swipe for the next one.”
Honestly… I need to hear the horror stories. What is one dating story you absolutely don’t want to see repeated?
“Woof… all I have to say is this. If you are a man in his sixties, stop trying to Bill Belichick it. If you don’t know, Belichick is 73 and has a girlfriend who is 24. Belichick is also a millionaire in the States, so. To all other men in their 60s or 70s: stop telling me you will only date women in their 20s. It’s not happening. Go home, you’re drunk. Come back when you’re ready to actually date.”
It’s easy to complain about the dating scene… but how do you know when you’re the problem?
“Let’s take a look back on the last three people you said no to. Why did you say no to them? Was it because of their energy or how they made you feel? Or was it because they chewed weirdly or were 5’10 instead of 5’11? If you’re sending people packing because of tiny little things, re-evaluate — and remember, people could be judging you just as hard.”
Lately, there has been a lot of online chatter about ‘icks’. Do you think this is a healthy conversation for the dating realm?
“I absolutely do not support the ick. I hate the ick. The ick gives me the ick. What, we are just supposed to trash someone perfect because of some little thing? People! Open your eyes! In the modern dating world, I want people to be more open, not less open, and the ick seems like yet another symptom of us having too many options. Of course, I’m fine if you don’t get along with someone, or the conversation fell flat, or you didn’t align on something major. But turning someone down because they wore a bum bag to a date? (Real example). Nah.”
Would you describe yourself as a romantic? How can our readers bring more romance into their lives?
“I am a hopeless romantic and always have been. I love a crush. I dream about boys, always. I want to be swept off my frickin’ feet. Ella Enchanted is my favourite book of all time — a true timeless middle school classic — because the romance is top-notch and it really shows you how it feels to fall for someone based on chemistry, intellect, and personality.
I think to bring more romance into your life, start by getting outside and taking a walk without your phone. Be alone with yourself. Take in your surroundings. Feel the beauty and the romance of the everyday. The more we look up from our phones, the more we open ourselves to romance.”
Is it a good idea to go for ‘your type’?
“No ma’am! It’s totally fine to have a type and to know what you usually go for. That being said: open-mindedness is the name of the whole entire game. Put it this way: the apps allow us to swipe superficially and nix people based on silly little things. If you met someone at a party that you hit it off with, you’d be more inclined to go out with them, rather than yank out a measuring tape and see how tall they are. You can know what you like — but don’t close the doors to other people because of it.”
Is there any other must-have dating advice for Quine readers looking for love?
“In 2018, I dared myself to go on one date a month with someone I met in the real world. I deleted the apps and embarked on this mission, and it led me to someone I dated for six years. I would challenge you to try this. Set actionable dating goals. Force yourself off the apps. Force yourself to open your eyes, go out, attend events, join run clubs, take a pottery class, and hang out at a coffee shop. You’ll surprise yourself, and you’ll learn how to be brave and face people head-on. You can do it. And it may just lead to love.”
Finally, tell us about your Edinburgh Fringe show, Oops! What can audiences expect?
“Yay! Yes, Oops is about my six years as a professional matchmaker. I talk about crazy clients, matches I’ve made, marriages that have happened, and matches I’ve regretted. It’s a hilarious romp through the underbelly of dating apps and my experience as a lifelong, unlucky-in-love gal who somehow finds herself on the front lines of the dating game. I would love to see you there… and maybe your perfect match will also be in the crowd.”
Get tickets for Oops at the Edinburgh Fringe on the Fringe website:
edfringe.com/tickets/whats-on/olivia-raine-atwood-oops.
Hear more from dating expert Olivia Raine Atwood on her Instagram: @liv.thedream.
